I don’t have a six pack. Don’t know a damn thing about cars. I own tools. I am incapable of planning anything more than a week in advance. I own my house. I am great at relaxing. People often mistaken that for being lazy. I am not lazy. Just good at relaxing. I make my bed in the morning. I’m great at parallel parking. I will never be able to spell Schuylkill without Googling it first. I’ve done my own laundry since 5th grade. I always wake up at six am no matter what time I go to sleep or how much I’ve had to drink. Eating is my favorite pastime. My friends are all a lot smarter than me. The only phone numbers I know from memory are my parents and Empire Carpet. Cold beer is my favorite kind of beer. I’m an optimist but also a rationalist.

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